Before we get into personalities, here's my philosophy on life. I've always depended upon the kindness of strangers because as long as you don't know their names or where they live, you never have to spend money on thank you notes or gifts.

My story? Not much to tell, really.

When I was born, my parents placed me in a small wooden boat and pushed me out into the center of the Pulaski Skyway where I was rescued and ultimately raised by a pair of possums. Sadly, they died when I was very young. At least I think they died.

From there I joined the Merchant Marines and was the only toddler in World War II to sink a Japanese battleship while being burped.

When I returned to the States, I got a job at Gimbels Department Store and have been there ever since even though they went out of business in 1986. I have always valued loyalty over money and if that's wrong, talk to my wife. You'd get along famously.