Jon Methven has worked as a paperboy, a dishwasher, a Ponderosa meat cook (everything medium well), a pizza deliverer, a golf course grounds crewman, a barbecue seasoning filter employee, an illegal barbecue seasoning filter employee since he was living in Australia without a work visa at the time, a bartender, a mascot at Yankee Stadium (Mr. Popcorn), a journalist, a taste tester, and a cubicle dweller. He knows things you can only dream of knowing, or can learn if willing to work for minimum wage. His work has appeared at Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, n+1, The New York Times, and New York magazine, and he currently writes the “Analytically Speaking” column that appears Mondays at The Awl. He lives in New York City with his wife and son.
A PILOT, A JOURNALIST, AND A SEMEN TRAFFICKER WALK ONTO A PLANE . . . When flight AW2921 crashes into the Hudson River and all 162 passengers survive, it’s a Monday morning miracle. What the rapturous public doesn’t know: the whole thing was staged as a last-ditch attempt at resurrecting...
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